Woden
2010-01-23 12:07:32 UTC
Trying my hand at this, maybe way to long......
Show starts with a Genesis recap where we hear the audience shouting 'We
want six sides' and Hulk telling them....no. We see The Band, Anderson and
Flair/Styles and all the guff that went with it.
A limo rolls up, chicks, Flair and AJ get out. AJ is wearing a suit.
Impact debuts the new opening trailer which does seem to feature all the new
guys inc Kennedy. I was too busy writing to notice if Hardy was there.
Flair comes out to the Impact Zone. Flair loves TNA and he came here for
three reasons:
a) He hates Hogan and will pursue him everywhere he goes. It's a life long
feud.
b) Because AJ is the next Nature Boy. Stylin and Profilin.
c) Essentially, Dixie Carter.
AJ out. Babbles on about that TNA has never been the house that AJ built.
Whinges that all the other guys are given the credit. Huh? Try asking
Daniels and Joe that.
Angle Out. Hogan out.
Hogan gives Angle another shot at the World Heavyweight Championship because
of the Styles/Flair union and interferance. Flair must not interfere or AJ
will be disqualified and the belt handed to Angle. It's tonight and it's
damn real.
Foley is backstage unconvincingly beating up stuff and asking for Bischoff.
World Tag Team Championship
British Invasion Vs Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Fairly standard match with both sides getting the upper hand at points. Ends
when Big ole dumb Rob comes in and gives the briefcase to the BI, who fumble
the cheap shot and knock one of them down.(I forget which). Hernandez gets
the win. Magnus is unhappy with Rob. Is Rob about to be coming home?
Flair suddenly appears with a chair and takes out the BI. He wants Bisch.
We get a section of Bubba's radio show where he's ringing Jarrett to taunt
him it seems. Jarrett is pissed and says TNA was fine'before'. He hangs up.
Bisch/Hogan backstage. 'Cactus Jack' needs handling. Bisch says he can do
that, but Hogan must deal with 'that other thing'. Nash appears in the
office. Hogan tells him he in unhappy with The Bands antics and wants Kev to
sort em out. "The party's over man."
Orlando Jordan vs Pope
OJ is out and seems to have borrowed part of Val Venis's gimmick. His
entrance music is crap and he gets zero heat or pop. Christy is backstage
with Pope and he says he feels real good about this match. Not much of a
match really, a few holds, a few quick arm drags. Pope sort of gets the
upper hand before Jordan gets an uninspired win.
Christy is backstage with Angle. He hates what Flair has done to AJ, it's
justice he's getting the match and it's damn real...etc.
Bubba Radio Show pt 2. Jeff is pissed and talking about lawyers. Says again
that TNA was fine without Hogan and Bisch and hey, weren't they the guys
that put WCW out of business?
Nash and Eric Young backstage. EY wants to know who Kev is with. It's OK as
Kev chose Eric, he has nothing to worry about and the guys will accept him.
Pretty gay stuff.
Clip of The Beautiful People post-Angelina Love and her subsequent return.
Bubba Radio Pt3.
Now we're talking about civil war in TNA(!). JJ is pissed he has to start in
the same place as everyone else as he founded the company. Bubba says tell
Hogan this and Jarrett says he will if Bisch isn't there. Bubba says he'll
set this up. JJ is cool with this.
Lashley is backstage with Bisch. Now apparently he loves TNA and Krystal was
just mouthing off her own opinion and has gone too far. He wants to wrestle
now. Bisch gives the love back and says he will chat with Hogan about this.
Seriously, have they just turned Lashley face again? Has Krystal been fired
already? Or is this seriously dumb?
Madison Rayne Vs Angelina Love.
AL has new entrance music and video. I guess she's face now then.....I'll be
the first to admit that I'm pleased to see her back - Alissa Flash is gone
and Kong will probably be following.
AL gets a good pop with 'Angelina' chants. Takes an easy win over MR, who I
can't recall has ever had a clean win in TNA? Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Sky
are soon out to beat on Angelina, but she's quick to take them down. Velvet
goes to hit Angelina with a stick, but she hesitates as does Angelina.
Madison finally takes down Angelina and they beat on her. Are they going
somewhere with the Angelina/Velvet hesitation? Probably not.
We're backstage with Bubba, Waltman and Hall.
Bubba says that if you lookup 'Screwup' on the interweb - their names come
top. Hall, who now sounds as sober as a judge says that they will be getting
their 'good boy' contracts tonight.
Bisch and Hogan out. Hogan chants. Hogan says they've got momentum but
there's still alot of business to take care of. Right no, no foolin brother,
it's The Band they need to deal with. The Band are out - Hogan rips into
them and tells them to hit the road. They're fired. Nash tries to cool them
all, but they're all sent out.
Foley appears and Bisch tells security to put him in his office.
Backstage, Nash is cooling down Waltman and Hall, tells them to leave and
he'll sort it all out.
Nasty Boys Vs Nash and Young
Never knew the NB before - before my time really, but they seem to be two
fat guys. Sags however looks quite good in the ring, which is just as well -
Knobs doesn't. Seen better from EY, but Nash looks pretty aggressive. Some
sloppy work however. Sags gets the eventual win from another dull match.
During the break, Team 3D take down The Nasty Boys way too easily with
chairs.
Mr Anderson(Anderson) is out with a dodgy rip-off of his WWE music. Pretty
sure I detected a faint 'you suck' from the crowd. Taz is way too excited.
Anderson isn't here for the emails and Twitters, he's here as Hogan called
him personally. He's all about actions louder than words - like he did to
Abyss. Who then creeps in behind him, flattens him and Anderson legs it.
Yah.
Bisch and Abyss are backstage. Bisch hates Abyss. He's only there because of
Hogan. Abyss wants to know if he'll be OK though. Bisch says it's up to
Foley?!?!?!?
Foley in Bisch's office restrained by security. Foley wants privacy, so
Bisch sends out security. Foley hates what Bisch has done and will stop him.
Bisch wants to know if Foley is threatening him and sends the cameras out.
WTF? Hard to believe that a month or so ago, Foley was the Big Fish around
here.
Angle Vs Styles, World Heavyweight Championship.
Goddam, AJ sucks at being a heel.
Taz and Tenay both comment that we've never seen this side of AJ before.
Fuck me, seriously? They'll be saying that about Flair next. AJ kicks Angle
in the balls at least once. Angle in control for a good proportion of the
match with 3 German supplexes applied. Goes for the Angle slam, but AJ
reverses with a kick. Angle then goes for the Ankle lock, AJ reverses and
now, the FUCKING STUPIDEST rip-off I've ever seen takes place:
Hebner signals for the bell. AJ runs.
Angle, confused and pissed off, says he's going back to WWE and Vince. Hogan
appears ringside, Angle spits at him and finally 'You screwed Kurt' comes
from the audience. Fuck me. What? OMG says Taz, was Hogan involved in
this!??!?! You betcha. So, Hogan/Bisch, you think this moment will go down
as the 21st Jan 2010 Orlando Screwjob? Bit of a mouthful really.
Finally, it what seems like the longest Impact in history, Bisch comes into
the Impact Zone with a very unconvincing cut on his head.
"Foley, you're fired."
Show starts with a Genesis recap where we hear the audience shouting 'We
want six sides' and Hulk telling them....no. We see The Band, Anderson and
Flair/Styles and all the guff that went with it.
A limo rolls up, chicks, Flair and AJ get out. AJ is wearing a suit.
Impact debuts the new opening trailer which does seem to feature all the new
guys inc Kennedy. I was too busy writing to notice if Hardy was there.
Flair comes out to the Impact Zone. Flair loves TNA and he came here for
three reasons:
a) He hates Hogan and will pursue him everywhere he goes. It's a life long
feud.
b) Because AJ is the next Nature Boy. Stylin and Profilin.
c) Essentially, Dixie Carter.
AJ out. Babbles on about that TNA has never been the house that AJ built.
Whinges that all the other guys are given the credit. Huh? Try asking
Daniels and Joe that.
Angle Out. Hogan out.
Hogan gives Angle another shot at the World Heavyweight Championship because
of the Styles/Flair union and interferance. Flair must not interfere or AJ
will be disqualified and the belt handed to Angle. It's tonight and it's
damn real.
Foley is backstage unconvincingly beating up stuff and asking for Bischoff.
World Tag Team Championship
British Invasion Vs Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Fairly standard match with both sides getting the upper hand at points. Ends
when Big ole dumb Rob comes in and gives the briefcase to the BI, who fumble
the cheap shot and knock one of them down.(I forget which). Hernandez gets
the win. Magnus is unhappy with Rob. Is Rob about to be coming home?
Flair suddenly appears with a chair and takes out the BI. He wants Bisch.
We get a section of Bubba's radio show where he's ringing Jarrett to taunt
him it seems. Jarrett is pissed and says TNA was fine'before'. He hangs up.
Bisch/Hogan backstage. 'Cactus Jack' needs handling. Bisch says he can do
that, but Hogan must deal with 'that other thing'. Nash appears in the
office. Hogan tells him he in unhappy with The Bands antics and wants Kev to
sort em out. "The party's over man."
Orlando Jordan vs Pope
OJ is out and seems to have borrowed part of Val Venis's gimmick. His
entrance music is crap and he gets zero heat or pop. Christy is backstage
with Pope and he says he feels real good about this match. Not much of a
match really, a few holds, a few quick arm drags. Pope sort of gets the
upper hand before Jordan gets an uninspired win.
Christy is backstage with Angle. He hates what Flair has done to AJ, it's
justice he's getting the match and it's damn real...etc.
Bubba Radio Show pt 2. Jeff is pissed and talking about lawyers. Says again
that TNA was fine without Hogan and Bisch and hey, weren't they the guys
that put WCW out of business?
Nash and Eric Young backstage. EY wants to know who Kev is with. It's OK as
Kev chose Eric, he has nothing to worry about and the guys will accept him.
Pretty gay stuff.
Clip of The Beautiful People post-Angelina Love and her subsequent return.
Bubba Radio Pt3.
Now we're talking about civil war in TNA(!). JJ is pissed he has to start in
the same place as everyone else as he founded the company. Bubba says tell
Hogan this and Jarrett says he will if Bisch isn't there. Bubba says he'll
set this up. JJ is cool with this.
Lashley is backstage with Bisch. Now apparently he loves TNA and Krystal was
just mouthing off her own opinion and has gone too far. He wants to wrestle
now. Bisch gives the love back and says he will chat with Hogan about this.
Seriously, have they just turned Lashley face again? Has Krystal been fired
already? Or is this seriously dumb?
Madison Rayne Vs Angelina Love.
AL has new entrance music and video. I guess she's face now then.....I'll be
the first to admit that I'm pleased to see her back - Alissa Flash is gone
and Kong will probably be following.
AL gets a good pop with 'Angelina' chants. Takes an easy win over MR, who I
can't recall has ever had a clean win in TNA? Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Sky
are soon out to beat on Angelina, but she's quick to take them down. Velvet
goes to hit Angelina with a stick, but she hesitates as does Angelina.
Madison finally takes down Angelina and they beat on her. Are they going
somewhere with the Angelina/Velvet hesitation? Probably not.
We're backstage with Bubba, Waltman and Hall.
Bubba says that if you lookup 'Screwup' on the interweb - their names come
top. Hall, who now sounds as sober as a judge says that they will be getting
their 'good boy' contracts tonight.
Bisch and Hogan out. Hogan chants. Hogan says they've got momentum but
there's still alot of business to take care of. Right no, no foolin brother,
it's The Band they need to deal with. The Band are out - Hogan rips into
them and tells them to hit the road. They're fired. Nash tries to cool them
all, but they're all sent out.
Foley appears and Bisch tells security to put him in his office.
Backstage, Nash is cooling down Waltman and Hall, tells them to leave and
he'll sort it all out.
Nasty Boys Vs Nash and Young
Never knew the NB before - before my time really, but they seem to be two
fat guys. Sags however looks quite good in the ring, which is just as well -
Knobs doesn't. Seen better from EY, but Nash looks pretty aggressive. Some
sloppy work however. Sags gets the eventual win from another dull match.
During the break, Team 3D take down The Nasty Boys way too easily with
chairs.
Mr Anderson(Anderson) is out with a dodgy rip-off of his WWE music. Pretty
sure I detected a faint 'you suck' from the crowd. Taz is way too excited.
Anderson isn't here for the emails and Twitters, he's here as Hogan called
him personally. He's all about actions louder than words - like he did to
Abyss. Who then creeps in behind him, flattens him and Anderson legs it.
Yah.
Bisch and Abyss are backstage. Bisch hates Abyss. He's only there because of
Hogan. Abyss wants to know if he'll be OK though. Bisch says it's up to
Foley?!?!?!?
Foley in Bisch's office restrained by security. Foley wants privacy, so
Bisch sends out security. Foley hates what Bisch has done and will stop him.
Bisch wants to know if Foley is threatening him and sends the cameras out.
WTF? Hard to believe that a month or so ago, Foley was the Big Fish around
here.
Angle Vs Styles, World Heavyweight Championship.
Goddam, AJ sucks at being a heel.
Taz and Tenay both comment that we've never seen this side of AJ before.
Fuck me, seriously? They'll be saying that about Flair next. AJ kicks Angle
in the balls at least once. Angle in control for a good proportion of the
match with 3 German supplexes applied. Goes for the Angle slam, but AJ
reverses with a kick. Angle then goes for the Ankle lock, AJ reverses and
now, the FUCKING STUPIDEST rip-off I've ever seen takes place:
Hebner signals for the bell. AJ runs.
Angle, confused and pissed off, says he's going back to WWE and Vince. Hogan
appears ringside, Angle spits at him and finally 'You screwed Kurt' comes
from the audience. Fuck me. What? OMG says Taz, was Hogan involved in
this!??!?! You betcha. So, Hogan/Bisch, you think this moment will go down
as the 21st Jan 2010 Orlando Screwjob? Bit of a mouthful really.
Finally, it what seems like the longest Impact in history, Bisch comes into
the Impact Zone with a very unconvincing cut on his head.
"Foley, you're fired."
--
WODEN
WODEN